Healthy Vs. Abusive Relationships
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you are in a healthy relationship. There are so many messages we receive from the media, music, and even our family and friends that make abusive relationships seem sexy or a part of true love. Plus, all relationships have their ups and downs. So how do you know what is part of a normal relationship and what is abuse?
Check out some differences between a healthy and abusive relationship. Where does yours fit?
In Healthy Relationships...
- You feel safe and comfortable with each other
- Communication is open and spontaneous - you listen to each other and feel that you are heard. You decide things together.
- You can express your feelings without fear of your partner's reactions.
- Rules and boundaries are clearly defined, yet allow for flexibility if you desire change.
- Feelings and needs are expressed, appreciated and respected by both.
- You can be together, as a couple, without loosing your sense of yourself.
- Personal growth, change, and exploration are encouraged for each by each.
- Both have meaningful relationships and interests outside the relationship.
- You each take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness.
- You do not try to change or control your partner, and vise versa.
- You can say "no" without feeling guilty about it.
- There is a balance of giving and receiving.
- Each person can enjoy being alone, and requests for privacy are respected.
In Abusive Relationships One Partner...
- Pressures you into having sex.
- Criticizes, or humiliates you.
- Checks up on you, where you've been without them.
- Is jealous of friends.
- Doesn't accept breaking up.
- Tries to control you and the relationship.
- Gives you orders.
- Makes all the decisions.
- Doesn't take your opinion seriously.
- Is scary.
- Gets too serious too fast.
- Provokes fights.
- Is not thought of highly by family or friends.
- Believes that they should be in control.
- Uses violence.